I like your writing but don't quite follow the various jarring and contradictory references. What is the purpose of the American soldier episode? There's no Faustian bargain that I can see, or the same level of contempt by Ramuz and Stravinsky for their soldier. While Stravinsky used some jazz motifs what does Don King have to do with that? You seem eager to unit Stravinsky with current political hysteria but he doesn't come off as someone who would last more than a minute or two heavily guarded at that in a "vibrant" American locale. He'd be banned at a university. You are mixing high art with real life political stuff and it doesn't work in my opinion. You may also be canceled for writing about too much whiteness anyway. Maybe that's why the political stuff is a cover? Won't work. Otherwise, your overall content and style are pretty good.
I like your writing but don't quite follow the various jarring and contradictory references. What is the purpose of the American soldier episode? There's no Faustian bargain that I can see, or the same level of contempt by Ramuz and Stravinsky for their soldier. While Stravinsky used some jazz motifs what does Don King have to do with that? You seem eager to unit Stravinsky with current political hysteria but he doesn't come off as someone who would last more than a minute or two heavily guarded at that in a "vibrant" American locale. He'd be banned at a university. You are mixing high art with real life political stuff and it doesn't work in my opinion. You may also be canceled for writing about too much whiteness anyway. Maybe that's why the political stuff is a cover? Won't work. Otherwise, your overall content and style are pretty good.